Do I need to see a pelvic floor therapist too?

I strongly recommend it because sexual pain is both physical and emotional. Sometimes it's inflamed muscle or a nerve that's over firing. Going to see your medical providers can help with that. I can help you find someone if you need a referral.

What if my doctor says nothing is wrong?

Happens all the time. Doesn't mean the pain isn't real. Sometimes the anticipatory and emotional components are driving most of the experience. Doesn't mean you won't benefit from Pelvic Floor PT and therapy. We work with what your body is doing, not what a test says.

If we are doing individual therapy, I have found it helpful to have one or two sessions to encourage healthy communication. I do work with couples where one experiences sexual pain, especially if the sexual pain is creating a mismatch in libido.

I've been avoiding sex completely. Is that okay?

Makes complete sense when something hurts. You can't experience pleasure if you're in unwanted pain.

How is this different from pelvic floor therapy?

They work with the muscles, tissue, and physical patterns. I work with the fear, the relational stuff, the identity piece, and the nervous system responses wrapped up in the pain. Different layers, same problem.

1-on-1 psychotherapy for your relationship with yourself,

your body, and what you want.

Individual Therapy

You don't have to be in a relationship to do this work,

and you don't need to be single, either.

A woman in a white dress lying on her back on a grassy field with hills and trees in the background under a clear blue sky.

Why come solo?

So much of our culture treats intimacy as something that happens between you and other people. Almost nobody teaches intimacy with yourself, and I don't mean masturbation. I mean being deeply connected to your body, your senses, your feelings, and your desires. In other words: what do you want? And can you let yourself have it, without the guilt, without it being for some greater purpose or because its what you “should” do?

If you struggle to focus on yourself or take up space, individual therapy may help.

People arrive at this work from all different parts of life. The newly divorced, mourning the person they didn't become inside the marriage. Survivors in the first safe relationship of their lives, confused by a body that finally has room to feel. Neuroqueers feeling unseen in the status quo but unsure how to be embodied in a non heteronormative and neurotypical way. Women in perimenopause, no longer defined by their capacity for reproduction, whose bodies are organizing around a new reality and a new identity. And immigrants/children of immigrants, straddling two or more worlds, trying to find their own definitions of sexuality, pleasure, and desire.

The greatest F-you to whatever happened to you is to

reclaim a life rooted in pleasure.

Close-up of a mosaic of glass blocks in various colors including amber, green, clear, and brown, arranged in a grid pattern.

CHRONIC ILLNESS

rebuilding a relationship with your body that's centered in pleasure

Close-up of a colorful mosaic composed of glass blocks in various colors including amber, green, clear, and brown, with reflective, wavy surfaces.

SEXUAL TRAUMA

reclaim your body & redefine what pleasure looks like now, despite what happened to you

Close-up of colorful glass blocks arranged in a grid pattern.

AFFAIR RECOVERY

whether you were cheated on, you cheated-we’ll examine your part in it, and change the pattern

Not sure? That’s what a free phone consult is for.

SCHEDULE

Rates & logistics

$250 for 50 minutes

via telehealth anywhere in New York and Oregon

I'm private pay only and can provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement. I hold a few reduced rate spots to increase access to care: ask about the waitlist on our consult call.

FAQs

No. Much of sex therapy happens one-on-one, working with your own desire, body, and history.
Yes. Changing your half of a pattern changes the pattern. And some relationship work is better suited in individual therapy.
One of my favorite parts of individual work is getting to center you, and I protect that. If relationship work makes sense down the line, I'll refer the two of you to one of my colleagues, so you both get a therapist with an unbiased take on your relationship, and you keep a room that's just yours.
There's no honest universal answer. We'll review progress together regularly, and you'll always know what I'm thinking and why.