Therapy for Sexual Pain,
so you can feel pleasure again.
Sex shouldn’t hurt if you don’t want it to.
Or maybe you never got the chance to find out because pain got there first.
Now your body braces before anyone even touches you. The anticipation alone is enough to shut everything down. You've googled yourself into a spiral, maybe gotten a diagnosis—vaginismus, vulvodynia, something pelvic floor—and you're still in pain. Or a doctor told you everything looks fine, which somehow made it worse.
The pain is real. Full stop. I don't care what a test says.
You might be gritting your teeth through sex to keep your partner from worrying. You might have stopped entirely. Either way, the distance is growing and you don't know how to talk about it without it becoming a whole thing.
The loneliness of this is brutal. And the frustration of feeling like your body has turned on you is real.
You used to enjoy sex.
What to expect in sessions
I work the emotional and relational side of sexual pain. I work closely with pelvic floor therapists because this goes deeper when both the physical and emotional work happen at the same time. I'm not doing their job. They're not doing mine. But we need each other.
Care COLLABORATION
coordinating with your physical therapist so nothing falls through the cracks
Parts Work
getting curious about what your protective patterns are doing for you and why
NERVOUS SYSTEM WORK
working with the bracing, anticipation, and shutdown responses your body has built
body trust
learning to listen to your body instead of overriding it
SEXUAL SCRIPTS
identifying expectations about sex that are making the pain harder to navigate
Relationship Work
addressing the impact it’s had and reclaiming pleasure together
Sex you move towards because you want to.
If you've been pushing through pain to keep things "normal" or to keep your partner happy, we stop that. You've been training yourself to ignore your own body, and that's the opposite of what gets you back to pleasure.
You learn to have your own back in the bedroom. Even when part of you wants to just get through it for someone else.
The goal is simple: pleasure again.
You Might Also Be Navigating
Sexual Trauma Recovery — pain that started after something happened to you
Low Desire — you've lost interest because sex became something to dread
Desire Discrepancy — pain is creating distance between you and your partner
Neurodivergent Sexuality — sensory overwhelm making pain worse or harder to sort out
Infidelity Recovery — pain showed up after trust was broken
No more pushing through.
Free 20-minute call. We'll talk about what's going on and whether this is the right fit.
Frequently Asked Questions
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I strongly recommend it because sexual pain is both physical and emotional. Sometimes it’s inflamed muscle or a nerve that’s over firing. Going to see your medical providers can help with that. I can help you find someone if you need a referral.
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Happens all the time. Doesn't mean the pain isn't real. Sometimes the anticipatory and emotional components are driving most of the experience. Doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from Pelvic Floor PT and therapy. We work with what your body is doing, not what a test says.
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If we are doing individual therapy, I have found it helpful to have one or two sessions to encourage healthy communication.
I do work with couples where one experiences sexual pain, especially if the sexual pain is creating a mismatch in libido.
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Makes complete sense when something hurts. You can’t experience pleasure if you’re in unwanted pain.
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Of course. I help you understand how and when self-doubt and control impact your connection to sexuality. I am not able to treat OCD though, so make sure you’ve already gone to therapy to work on your obsessions and compulsions first.
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They work with the muscles, tissue, and physical patterns. I work with the fear, the relational stuff, the identity piece, and the nervous system responses wrapped up in the pain. Different layers, same problem.
Sexual pain therapy in Brooklyn, NY I work with New York clients via secure telehealth — in person coming soon. If you've been dealing with pain during sex and want a therapist who works with your body and coordinates with your medical team, let's talk.
Sexual pain therapy in Portland, OR Licensed in Oregon, seeing Portland-area clients virtually. If you've been searching for a sex therapist who understands sexual pain beyond just the physical, I'd love to connect.
Heads up, this page is about unwanted sexual pain.
If you're exploring consensual pain within kink or BDSM, different conversation—and one I'm happy to have.